Last week was quite emotional for me as my eldest had his last day at preschool. When we got the original diagnosis in 2014 I honestly didn’t think I would be around to see it. I was welling up just thinking about taking him in on Wednesday so I was preparing for a lot of tears but I was actually very composed and surprised myself by not crying!
He has been going there for two years and had only been going for a few months before the shit hit the fan. They have been brilliant and have looked after him amazingly. He loved it there and it really helped keep the disruption in his life to a minimum and he is now extremely excited about starting big school in September. Now just to keep the two boys entertained for 6 weeks…..eeek!
This weekend saw myself and 10 friends descend on London for Secret Cinemas Dirty Dancing and I had an absolute blast, it was so much fun! However I am now sat here nursing a slight hangover and a big comedown. This normally involves getting upset and panicky about the future and also feel guilty about all that cancer inducing alcohol I put down my throat!! Reality really does give me a smack in the face sometimes.
I also did something extremely stupid a few days ago, I did something I always tell people not to do……..I googled! What is wrong with me?! I was going through old paperwork and found a letter from my oncologist to my GP with a medical term about my recurrence and I stupidly googled. As my recurrence is rare there isn’t alot of info out there for it and what I did read was not good. Everyone knows that you only get worst case situations and out of date statistics on there but my head just wasn’t listening! I’m such a knobhead sometimes.
So plan for this week…….get the positive vibes back, not to kill the kids and to venture out of the house at least half of the week! Oh and tick off a fuck it list item…..can you guess which one?! I also have an appointment with my surgeon to discuss tidying up my scar as im really not happy with my most recent one. Really hoping she can work her magic and that I wont have to wait too long.