Since being back from holiday I have been suffering from a bad back. Now normal people will just assume they have hurt their back at some point, have rest and hope it gets better. People from the cancer world however instantly think the worst. Its very hard not to panic and think the cancer has spread. The sensible side of my brain is telling me its because I slept on a rock hard bed in Lanzarote and then spent 4 hours on a plane combined with the amount of stress my body has gone through recently. My chiropractor agrees and is adamant this is what has happened, said its damaged discs or something and I have to rest! This is easier said than done for me as I struggle to do nothing, but I will try my hardest as I’m in absolute agony. I got stuck getting off the chiropractors table which was fun! If it’s not better in two weeks though my doctor has said I need to go get a scan and just make sure its nothing sinister.
I probably made my back worse by going to the music festival but I had an absolute blast so I’m very glad I went. Getting together and having fun with my friends really helps me switch off from cancer. They don’t treat me any differently and have stuck by me from day one and for that I will be forever grateful. It makes me sad when I hear about people losing friends when they get diagnosed. Its mainly because those friends don’t know what to say or do so decide to do nothing. FYI, this is the worst thing you can do!! You just need to say ‘I’m sorry everything is shit, let me make you some dinner/clean your kitchen/sit and watch tv with you. A text/phone call once in a while asking how they are doing is something. It’s not bloody hard, just be there for them and be normal!! If you can’t do that then they are probably better off without you anyway!
I was also supposed to have my first clinical psychologist session yesterday but unfortunately I had to cancel as I would not have been able to sit there for an hour or so. I also wouldn’t have been able to drive as I have been taking Tramadol for the first time and it makes me feel extremely………odd! I had heard good things about Tramadol from a few friends but I hadn’t realised just how spaced out I would feel…….made me realise I could never do ‘proper drugs’!! 🙂
So this week will be spent resting up and making sure I’m back walking properly again!