Thanks to a wonderful cancer charity my family and I were able to book a weekend break to Butlins in good ol’ Bognor Regis. It was a chance to have some family time together as all the kids seem to do at the moment is stay at grandparents houses or sat in front of the TV.
We all had a wonderful time and for a few days I was able to switch off from the shitty cancer world and just enjoy having fun with my boys and also my parents. The weather even stopped being utterly pants and we were able to enjoy some time on the beach. I don’t think we talked about cancer or treatment once, it was like the good old days.
I did however come back on Bank holiday Monday absolutely knackered. I had done more walking than I’ve done in about a year and bloody hell didn’t my body know it! It was supposed to be a weekend to recharge my batteries for my last week of radiotherapy……but unfortunately didn’t work out that way. Stupid cancer! But hey ho, only 5 more sessions left and I will be done…..for now anyways.
I have been having mixed feelings about the end of treatment. Last time around I celebrated the end of every stage as I thought it would be the end of it all…….plus I always like a reason to drink a glass of prosecco or ten! 🙂 This time its different, I’ve already celebrated ‘end of treatment’ and it came and bit me in my big arse! But if I don’t mark the occasion I can see myself just going to bed and having a cry and I really don’t fancy that to be honest. Think I would rather crack open some bubbles and not think about what the future may or may not bring. Life’s for living isn’t it!
In other news……I’ve gotten fat again! Boooooooo!! I did so well during chemo not to put on any weight (last time I gained 2 stone) and even managed to lose some and drop a dress size, so that was a big fuck you to chemo and steroids! I have since started to creep back up again, thanks to frickin’ emotions and all that shit. Its so very easy to shove yummy crap in your gob and say ‘fuck it, I might not be here to enjoy this soon’ but you feel worse when you actually look at your belly and your jeans don’t. It also doesn’t help not having any boobs to hide said belly! So time to dust off the Fitbit and Lean in 15 cookbook!